I am someone who finished college in December. I got my first full-time job in April. Great, yay! Kind of. The company, the people, the project I get to work on - all amazing and cool. But I can't seem to handle the stress and responsibility the job is dealing me. The company is a startup so there's already that "vibe" of "grow grow grow as quickly as we can," and like that's great for the company. It's cool to see companies grow and all that. But I think I'm slowly realizing that it's just not for me. The startup work environment anyway. I don't know if it's because I'm "a bad engineer" or I "don't know my engineering shit." I want to say I am a good engineer, but I've been struggling so much lately to convince myself otherwise with this job :/ I barely want to learn anything new on my own. How do I expect to be at least a decent engineer out in the field? But anyway, back to my current job position - I talked to the CEO for check-in, like he wanted to see how I was doing with the company and all that (crazy to think that some companies are indeed just that small that a CEO can casually chat with some of the newer employees to check in with them). One of the things that really stood out to me was that my position, the position I am currently working as, wasn't even suppose to be meant for a newly graduated person. It was suppose to be for someone with a lot more experience. But I impressed my interviewer enough that I seemed like the best candidate out of the others that applied (I'm assuming others applied). And like that stuck with me. I think about it all the time when I get really stressed. It helps me calm down, but I still do get stressed and it affects my capabilities to finish tasks. I've been stuck on a simple task for the past week... that's how bad my stress has been affecting my abilities to do work. It's not even that hard of a task... which makes me feel even worse. It makes me feel like I'm not a good engineer. Lately the thought of quitting has been creeping up in my mind. I understand my lack of performance / task completion is not fair to the company and especially my supervisor. I'm trying to take action to get better mentally since that's the really culprit for me and my unmotivated ass. But it's just really hard to convince myself that my life is not going to be ruined because of this one position. I know people change positions and companies all the time. I should be okay with that. But I've just been struggling with mental health for so long that it's hard to get out of my head and just believe that I can do things. It feels kind of selfish of me to think like this since I know other people have more stressful jobs that I do and here I am wanting to quit my current job because I can't deal with my stress right away. Am I a bad engineer for this? Does it make me look like a bad engineer if I want to quit because of stress? Funny enough, I know stress is part of engineering. Maybe I really just don't know how to deal with it and it's all just me. I don't know. I'm trying to hang in there. Like I said I'm taking actions to get myself to a better mental state. It's just really scaring me that events like these make me seem like a bad employee and I won't be able to recover from it. Maybe I really am broken. I hope I don't seem like a bad engineer. I do enjoy the field and what can be accomplished as an engineer. It's just sometimes, the stress becomes too much. And I know how / why I've gotten to the point where my stress feels so unmanageable. I don't communicate enough, I try to be a perfectionist, I don't ask for help when I know I am struggling, I don't take the right actions to truly take a break from work. All of this is most likely from myself and is stemming from me growing up having to always be perfect and then not knowing what to do when I'm not. I don't know. Is that just me making up an excuse? Is me saying I'm stressed just me making up an excuse? I don't know. I really don't know if I'm a good engineer or not anymore :/ My friends would like to say otherwise, but I feel so broken, so lost, so helpless. I don't know what my future hold and it scares me. Maybe I should be more lenient on myself and give myself some slack. I won't know everything right away, it's okay to ask questions, I'm always learning, people forget things too. How do I convince myself that I really am good enough? That I am, at the very least, a decent engineer worth a company's time and money?