3 months ago
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Am i a bad person? Please answer i need advices :[

Helloo

My "problem" is that

I have a best friend who has a secret twitter account (its public but he doesnt shares it with the people he knows in real life and in that acc he complains about "how bad it would be if someone of his irls found it out")

And somehow i found his username and he doesnt know that i know.

The thing is that sometimes i like to stalk him because there is where he talks about his life and opinions with no filter and im very insecure and i need to check if he complains about me, just so i can know how i can change my behavoirs.

At first i just stalked him after we talked to see if i said something wrong but now i cant stop doing it (not only because of the insecurity thing, also i just got used to see his tweets and i dont know why but i feel kinda bad when i spend one day without knowing about him because we dont talk everyday and idk i miss him. Also i know this sounds weird and stupid but i love knowing things about other peoples lives and basically i love the tea and the gossips)

Because of all of that i feel like a bad person, cause i basically feel like if i was reading his secret diary without consent (even if the account is public).

I feel very very guilty and im afraid that he will be mad at me if he realises everything ive done. Im trying to stop because now i realised how bad it is but i cant change what ive already done so i feel like a terrible person who deserves no friends.

Im not trying to excuse myself but i never did that with the itention of hurt him, i tryied to stop checking that fucking account a lot of times but for some reason i just cant. Almost everytime we talk i feel very anxious and i think im doing something wrong so i need to see if he posted something about me, and when im procrastinating my brain tells me that is a good moment to stalk and see the what is happening in his life and idk why but its very hard hard for me to stop that impulse. I dont know why im so needy of doing this everytime i can, I really really want to stop but i cant.

What do you think about this situation? Please answer me if you can, i need opinions and advices and i cant tell this "problem" to any of my irls because they will probably think that im a creepy stalker and/or a bad person.


Ps sorry for my english im russian





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3 months ago

Re: Am i a bad person? Please answer i need advices :[

Hello im the one who posted this, can someone please reply pls😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔


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So I can't tell you what is right and what is wrong. All I can tell you is my opinion. I think that if he made this account public then you seeing it in the first place is no big deal. But if you are checking that often and its like reading his diary then ya its probably not in your best interest to read it. Don't feel like you are a horrible person I think we all might feel like doing something like that if he valued someone's opinion that much. But you feeling on thin ice every time you talk to him is not right. Its best to just not look at the page. pretend it doesn't exist.


Honestly if he is writing this kind of stuff for everyone to see on the internet (again I don't know the person so I can't say for sure) But that says a lot about his maturity level and doesn't sound like the type of guy I would want to be friends with... thinking he would say something bad about me every time I talk to him would ruin a friendship or relationship.


Hope this helps... Hang in there :)


First of all he has a public acount, if he didn't want anybody to see it he would just write a journal or make the account private. And I don't think your intentions were bad at all. You just want to know what you do wrong to change it and be a better friend. But I do think you should stop, and shouw him that he can trust you and tell what he doesn't like of the things you do. I think you should communicate more with him. If he is your friend there is no need to have a screen in between of what you guys think. And in the end friendship is about love, respect, confort, communication, support and just being there when they need you. Maybe someday you'll have the strength to tell him that you saw the account. (sorry for the english I'm from Argentina) Good luck!


Let me start by saying no you are not a bad person you love them you wanna know more about them but let them be the one to talk. Yes his account is public and he's telling the world how he feels but without letting them know he really is because that's what he what's that's what he's is comfortable with.

I get it we always wanna know how they really feel what's deep inside their head maybe they'll say the truth when they are drunk... when my brother or my friends show me a picture in their phone or hand me their phone sometime I also feel like ohhh can I just look at their photos without consent because they have a life beside me which i am not a part of and i am curious about it I have sometimes looked at my brothers photos just to see how much fun they were having what were they drinking eating whatever and I felt soooo bad I immediately shut it but then I did it again I have done it 2-3 times so yeah no respect for his privacy well it wasn't exactly something to hide but I didn't asked him if I can see the pictures if I asked him I don't think he would have refused but now we'll never know.

When I saw the photos the thought of anyone doing the same flashed through my mind and I was like I wouldn't like it so I stoped.

You know we all need privacy we all have thing we don't want others to know even the one we are closest with and it doesn't have to be a big secret that you are scared to tell anyone that you'll be jailed for but even the small small things like I don't want people to go through my Pinterest like I have made few things public and few private it's just pictures but no I don't want anyone to know I can make it public if i have an anonymous account but not with the real account. You know I have this board in Pinterest for clothes but it's private I know right it's just clothes but still weird right but I don't want people to know maybe because I don't want people to know what I like idk same for screenshot oh my godddd it's a big noo never their are these silly jokes when I scroll down i fell like why I have this photo I think to delete it but then I read it then I can't delete it.

So yeahhh try talking to him if he's wants to complain about you let him do it to your face yes you can reflect on your behavior but you don't have to change everything about yourself according to someone else. You are you.And you are feeling guilty for reading his post that means you feel like you did something wrong so just try not to do it try try and try untill you suceed first for yourself so that you can be at peace. Just do whatever gives you peace.

You know some girls read my diary in hostel and one of my friend asked me if she can read it I said no she said just 1 page she had my diary in her hands at the end I had to give in yeahh I am pushover dammit but I think I have improved little but whatever it was soo embarrassing but I wasn't mad maybe because I didn't write any secret or anything because I know people don't care and they gonna read it but still it was embarrassing so I can't imagine what it'll be like for your friend who wrote everything about himself.

Best solution for everything is talking just talk to him he's your best friend he'll understand i hope but he's your friend you know him if you feel he won't forgive you and you can't tell him and you wanna keep it a secret then do it I mean if your gonna lie lie so damm good that you don't get caught and stop reading his post obviously you feel bad about it if wants to tell you something he will just like you are keeping your secret that you read his post and you are scared to loose him or you are insecure whatever just call him and tell him I miss you idiot may be he'll laugh maybe not but you'll have a nice talk maybe he misses you to. Just give your 100% to be with him if you want to with him maybe you are just being paranoid but in the end if it still doesn't turn out to be good it's okay know that you gave your 100% to be friends.

ALL THE BEST🤟


😂I just did I am the one with all the best in the end too long a post to read but guess I have too much time in my hand I giving advice while my online class is going on yeahh can't understand what he's saying anyway hope you find piece of mind. Can't post less than 300 character wow still not 300.


Hey. It’s cool that your Russian. I live in the mountains in America. I’m what people call a cowboy. It’s not as glamorous as it seems on TV.

I’m descended from knights & a military family. I think it’s cool that your nation is now more free; & that we can talk like this. I never wanted Russians to be our enemies. We humans are all really very similar deep down. Easier to be friends.

We all make mistakes. You love your friend like he’s a brother. Like most humans your insecure. You want to be loved back.

But people vent. They need to let it out. We can love someone; but still be very annoyed by them. So it’s natural to complain about people we love when we’re not around them. Let’s us get it out. So we are nicer to them when we’re around each other.

Think on this. I’m very masculine & beautiful. People just smile & stare at me. They approach me. Try to talk. I look like the dude who plays Thor. If I let it bother me it would drive me insane. Instead I accept I’m beautiful & let them stare.

However; I’ve had females go thru great lengths trying to see me nude. I’d that acceptable? I’m a Christian. Devoted to one woman. Is it ok for people to peek in my windows? Try to spy on me as I change clothes? No it’s not.

That’s what you’re doing. Instead of being a woman trying to see me nude. Your trying to see the inner thoughts of your friend. I’m sure it’s interesting & feels naughty to see the inner workings of his mind.

Just like a lot of women want to see my 6 pack & penis. But it’s wrong. I should get to determine who gets to see me nude. He should get to choose who sees his inner thoughts.

So you need to have compassion. Accept that your friend is different from you. Struggles with his inner thoughts too. Deserves to be mysterious just like you.

He’s venting. Trying to figure himself & others out secretly. That’s why we are all here.

People see me as this giant cowboy who looks like a movie star. They think I could beat up anybody; kill any animal; ride any horse. They see a pretty guy with a super hero body.

I have eaten mountain lions & bear. I can ride horses. So there’s some truth to that. But I also draw pictures of butterflies & puppies. I watch comedies & giggle. I watch love stories.

In school they made me play sports. Run a touch down. Hit a home run. My family made me hunt. Wanted me to be an Army Ranger.

At a certain age I said no. I’m not going to jump out of planes & snipe humans. I’m not going to keep shooting deer 500 yds from my tree. I’m not going to go run touchdowns on TV for some big college. I’m going to go do what I want to do.

So I’m a vegetarian. I drew blue prints. I took art classes. No more martial arts; wrestling; boxing; track & field. No more fishing for sharks in the summer in another state. I was going to be me.

Your friend deserves to be him. You need to quit living thru him. You need to learn to be you. We are all very interesting & unique. Instead of looking inside him to figure him out. Look inside yourself to figure you out.

I did that. Turns out I didn’t like hunting mountain lions. Or running touchdowns. Or knocking people out. I liked drawing pictures & laughing. So that’s what I do.

God Bless