TW for possible child on child sexual abuse?As a child possibly aged 10 my sister (2 years younger) and I used to play imaginary games which we phrased as games where you fancy me. This often involved us rubbing against eachother and kissing which was probably more mashing our faces together. The things is my memories from this period are so foggy I feel like it may have started when I was younger 8 maybe? I also remember having thoughts while doing these games. Such as imagining someone was watching us and this used to excite me. I also remember having a scarf being tied round my mouth which slipping and scared me because it started choking me but I believe I tied this myself. We also used to write weird sex stories as well. Anyway this behaviour stopped I think at around 11 years old (me) my mum must have found one of the stories and given me a bit of education which I think stopped it. Not sure if it is relevant but around this time my mum and dad were going through a nasty separation because of his alcohol abuse. He was violent towards her and his drinking was out of control so I suppose we were left to our own devices a lot. I guess what I am trying to understand is that was this sexual abuse that I was the perpetrator of and if so where on earth did I get such inappropriate fantasies to have as a child from. I spoke to my sister when I was 16/17 because I was scared that I had sexually abused her and I asked her this directly but she brushed it off as stuff that kids do.I am really not happy with this conclusion. I feel like she may be minimising to cope with it. These events have hovered over me like a black cloud for my whole life. I have self harmed since a young age and have recently relapsed. I don't know if I could even tell a therapist about this because I feel so disgusted with myself.