Am I gaslighting myself into believing that my mom doesn't care about me?

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To start this off I think I have some sort of anxiety or depression problem, I get overwhelmed by simple tasks and cry by myself when I think about things that upset me (I.e. past Arguments and bad situations). My mom gets mad at me everytime I cry, she says things like 'oh so now you're throwing a tantrum' and 'seriously? You're crying because of (blank)?' It really makes me feel invalidated and like she doesn't even care about how I feel (which she sometimes does debate that things are more important than how I feel). Today she wanted me to go to someone's wedding, my elder brothers best friends, even though I don't know him well and it wouldn't make a difference if I went at all. She tells me it's because I need to get out of the house, because I keep sleeping in because I can't sleep at night and fall asleep at like 2:00 - 3:00 a.m. most nights. When I told her this she made direct eye contact and said 'well that's not my fault!' and seemed really frustrated with me afterwards. They're heading to the wedding right now and I just feel like total garbage sitting on my bed bawling my eyes out. She got mad at me before leaving and said something's along the line of 'you can't even wake up when I ask you, so why can't you just come to the wedding?!' I can't tell if this is abusive behavior or not, or if I'm just gaslighting myself into believing that I'm being mistreated.

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