I cut myself because my friends never see me as their best friend. I have no best friends. They always find some other friend more important to them.
They always say “I have many best friends. You’re just as important!”...Well that makes me feel as if I’m not good enough...and just an average person...I DON’T WANT TO BE AN AVERAGE FRIEND. YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND. YOU’RE THE ONE I CARE ABOUT THE MOST. YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO I’VE HURT MYSELF PHYSICALLY FOR.
please just...tell me that you care about me the most...even if it’s an empty lie.
I seek for attention because nobody has ever told me that I’m the best. I just...crave the feeling of being the best...When I draw as 1st place with someone, I just suddenly don’t feel good enough anymore.
I am sad because there’s one friend I care about the most, and they don’t see me as their bestie.
I cry because my friend doesn’t have the life they deserve.
I can’t fall asleep because I’m always planning on how to make their life better.
I don’t ever want to sleep because I’m afraid of waking up and finding out that they’ve left this world...just like my other friend...
I don’t want to eat because I should be doing homework so that I can get to my friend sooner.
I don’t want to cry because I want to be strong like them.
I don’t want to slack off because I want to be smart enough and be a better friend for them.
i fucking hate myself.