It's silly. I lended my favorite book to one of my friends, she is severely depressed and is currently hospitalized for having suicidal thoughts.
A month later I asked her how the reading was going, and she sent me a picture of my favorite book, totally ruined. She sketched on it, and bended it's pages. She didn't say sorry, she only told me she'd buy me a new one someday. When I saw it, I felt like a child: impotent and angry. Like when my cousin would break my things and get away with it.
And this nasty feelings over an object! I hate feeling like this!
If it where any book I wouldn't care. But that one changed me and gave me purpose, it took me out of my hole of self pity and self sabotage. Therefore I lent it to her in hopes it could help her, while insisting on it's importance to me.
I feel guilty and selfish. And I feel like I'm putting to much emotional investment on a book, but at the same time, it's one of the few things I have that I value. I'm embarrassed to be this way.
What is the right thing to do? Why am I so childish? Am I selfish?