Am I selfish?

It's silly. I lended my favorite book to one of my friends, she is severely depressed and is currently hospitalized for having suicidal thoughts.

A month later I asked her how the reading was going, and she sent me a picture of my favorite book, totally ruined. She sketched on it, and bended it's pages. She didn't say sorry, she only told me she'd buy me a new one someday. When I saw it, I felt like a child: impotent and angry. Like when my cousin would break my things and get away with it.

And this nasty feelings over an object! I hate feeling like this!

If it where any book I wouldn't care. But that one changed me and gave me purpose, it took me out of my hole of self pity and self sabotage. Therefore I lent it to her in hopes it could help her, while insisting on it's importance to me.

I feel guilty and selfish. And I feel like I'm putting to much emotional investment on a book, but at the same time, it's one of the few things I have that I value. I'm embarrassed to be this way.

What is the right thing to do? Why am I so childish? Am I selfish?

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3 months ago

Re: Am I selfish?

You have every right to be upset, but it is also good that you acknowledge that it is just a material item. Let the book have a metaphysical form that changed you, and a physical form that your friend was able to change (and who knows, maybe the book helped her by being able to do all of that to it! still rude of her to do to your belongings, I agree, but being upset won’t unscribble your book.) I guess just be thankful that

1. She also got some use out of the book

and 2. She is kind enough to offer to buy you a new one

3 months ago

Re: Am I selfish?

Hell no! You are not being selfish or childish that is completely reasonable. Books are more than just objects they're memories and emotions and they're apart of who we are. If someone did this to me I would be just as pissed. You're feelings are completely valid. You tried to help her out and she sort of disrespcted you (I understand pages being bent or covers ripped but drawings! seriously that's just rude there's no way she accidently drew in your book) she should get you a new book. You are an amazing person to help you friend out and I'm not saying yo ushouldn't do that anymore but I completely agree with you. If I wreck smeone else's property I get them a new one.

3 months ago

Re: Am I selfish?

The one who's selfish and childish is your friend. You tried to help, and she dismissed it, and yes, disrespected you too. You invested in her, and she kinda crapped all over it. No, you're totally in the right here. It's not about the book. It's the principle. Pearls to swine I say, you've done your duty. Don't expect her to actually come through with a new book though, at least

I wouldn't