- Im still searching for a purpose, I currently feel like a burden to my family. They have done so much for me but my pathetic self cant seem to be nice to them, its like im embarrassed to be a nice person. I feel guilt for not having good grades as they pay for my tuition, although I didnt want to go in the first place. They spent so much money for lessons and drove me around to each class and now im a fucking failure. I cant even get decent grades with the help of extra teachers, how stupid can I be. All that money and time for me to get shit grades that employers wont want, Ill have a shitty job and a shitty life. And on top of that I cant even show how grateful I am to have them, I wish I could tell them how much they mean to me but I cant get myself to. I cant even call them "amma" and "appa", I feel like I will never be able to open up to them in this way - but apparently I can post it for strangers to see, to see my true self :') I dont even know what im passionate about, all I like doing is sitting around with my phone, it makes me feel connected to reality (on social media). So I have no motivation for my dream job, cus I dont have one. Im always daydreaming of what I want to be like but cant seem to make it my reality and im afraid I never will, maybe I deserve happiness only in my thoughts. Maybe I only deserve to find love in my imagination because no human deserves to have someone as awful as me... im sorry I disappoint you amma and appa, I will try and make it up to you in the future..
Amma and Appa
Re: Amma and Appa
I was the kinda the same too.My dad and mom worked hard for me but I wasn't able.to realize the efforts they are doing for me.but later I realised how much they love me and work hard for me and since then I started to work hard. hard af. And let me tell you if you work hard no one can stop you.And yes I made my parents PROUD and HAPPY.
U will achieve your dreams one day. Just work hard and keep striving for it.