We talk so much about bullying but we dont ALWAYS realize when we are bullied, especially when its the people you love the most, when its your own FAMILY. I have read it somewhere that Indian parents are on the top of the list of parents who abuse their own children and the saddest part is it is considered totally normal here. I, a child to two Indian parents, thought it was normal too, to be called names ,or to not have your parents around when you need them the most,or to be judged for everything a child does normally. I thought it was until I started researching on parenthood from movies, articles and books. I found out that it is not normal to know so much, to be that mature for the age. We all deserve to be loved, me and my siblings included. It was not fair. It was not fair to be born in an abnormal family and not to have known what love is. We have always felt like we were not needed by our own parents. May be that wasnt true, may be they needed us and didnt know how to show it because thats how Indians are programmed then dont say "I love you" or " Thank you" or "Sorry" to each other. But as a child I tried as much to impress my parents and yearned for their love and validation because I thought atleast when I be disciplined and smart they would need me. Do a child that small has to try that hard for love ? No wonder my love life is a mess,or I am "clingy" quoting my ex. I know how they say " learn to love yourself first" I think that was told by a bully who had everything they wanted in their life too. Being loved is as important as loving yourself. Its what everybody is dying for, me and my siblings are no exceptions. Being loved is one thing but being loved by the people you love the most must be a special feeling, not that I would know. I know no feeling like that I am only familiar with insecurities, unwantedness and pain. Love is a new feeling that I want to experience and I have always been searching for it. I know me and my siblings don't love ourselves enough but we love each other surplusly and that is where we find love whenever we are out of it. I dont know if we would have been this close if it werent for the abuse, by abuse I mean verbal, not physical althought it would have hurt less. My mom once asked me if I would die with her, I, a 10yo who loved her the very most , with no further thought said "YES mom" and since then I thought suicide was the ultimate solution to every problem so whenever I had a problem, I like to imagine being dead from jumping off a building or overdosing or something else and for a moment it would feel like the pain, the hurt and everything bad that happened disappeared and I find peace there. If there is a silver lining to all this that would be my take on parenthood. Now I can safely say that I would be the best parent a child could possibly have .