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Angels First Entry

I’ll be writing more than a few entries on here, but for my first one I’ll go into something heavy. For obvious reasons, as I know I would appreciate them, I want to but a trigger warning for those who have PTSD from abusive relations. For context I’m a 20F.

So recently my mother found out I have three tattoos, no one besides my sister-in-law have any so it’s pretty outlandish to my family hence why I didn’t vocalize I had any. She took it better than I thought, she was fine with it as it came from my own expenses. But due to this it opened up a conversation of things I experienced at college, or at least the possibility of speaking on that. I haven’t dated since I stopped going to university and my mom questions why I haven’t and why. Like I previously mentioned my tattoos opened a window of conversation, so I thought I could talk about what happened to me. As I personally don’t want to take legal actions as it frightens me to see my ex heaven forbid outwardly vocalize what happened. So to avoid the possibility of my mother to take legal actions, I looked up the states statue of limitations, in hopes of I wait until that is up I can tell her. Just to find out that in the state it was committed, their limit doesn’t expire. Now I have a somewhat fear of white guys my age as it reminds me of the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse I went through. I’m not sure how to face this issue. I have talked to my therapist about what happened, though she’ll use the correct terminology for what he committed but all I’m about to say is that, “his drinking got the best of him and I got the worst”.