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It comes to me as no surprise that the world can be a horrid, unbearable environment. no sooner that you think you belong somewhere than you are faced with a predicament that sets you 20 steps back. I took this job opportunity that really did change my life considerably. it wasn't something huge but it meant a lot as i it was my very first experience at an actual work environment. it started off pretty normal, was having fun and even though it was a lot of hard work every day , i did to some extent, appreciate it considerably. months go by and i keep having fallouts with the manager of my team ,but i keep ignoring all of it , thinking that it was just to push me to be better. but what unfolded later on got me feeling more disrespected and degraded massively. one day,on a Saturday night , i receive a text message that reads " call me " when i do, he told that some changes have been applied and that i have been moved on to another team to a totally different department. the department at my job was the one that i have mastered for 6 months , so starting from scratch seemed like a lot of disrespect and awful way of handling anyone you have authority upon. during the call i do agree and i think of it as a new opportunity from which i can possibly learn much more. The day of the upskilling comes and i enter the zoom meeting and i couldn't help but actually feel sorry for myself ,bearing in mind that i did fairly well at the job. i got out of the meeting and texted saying that i was quitting. down, deep i do know for sure it was the right decision to take but i was also sad and in utter disappointment for i loved working but one person ruined it all for me.

My primary take-away was that, i should never make it hard for anyone as ppl handle pain differently and some of them don't take it very well ,like myself.

i spoke to so many ppl and each tried calming me and in full honesty, they were all very supportive but here is the thing i just want a job and as soon as possible cause my mind runs wild with dark, cancerous thoughts. (not good with dealing with hardships as i have faced a lot of them. i have come undone.