I am paranoid,
I get stressed too much,
there's so much homework,
I've played the piano for 8 years already and I don't want to continue anymore. Every time the word piano comes up, I either start crying or just get really upset (I have anger issues) :P
My homework is piling up and I can't keep up. I'm crying as I write this.
Because I'm only in level 6, and need to get to level 10 for piano in order to get credits in high school, I probably need to play piano for at least 4 more years.
My parent promised me that I can stop playing piano once I get to high school, and now that sweet promise is gone. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY PIANO ANYMORE. I DON'T WANT TO BINGE-READ STUPID BOOKS ABOUT STUPID THINGS ANYMORE. I DON'T WANT TO CODE ANYMORE. I DON'T WANT TO PAINT, IT'S STUPID AND I CAN'T FOCUS CAUSE I'M THINKING ABOUT HOW TO FIX THE STUPID BUGS IN MY CODING.
But of course, if I quit everything, I would be a stupid piece of crap (I guess I'll always be)
I know that my parents are doing this for the better, but I just don't want to deal with the work anymore. I don't want to cry 4 times every day just because of work. I don't want to cut myself again, just because you say that I should do better and work harder.
But without this pain, and the conflicts my parent and I have, everything would be scary. It would be very weird for me and my parent's relationship to suddenly get better.
God, I am such a drama queen.