Hello to anyone who reads this. This is my first time ever writing something online. I'm happy to be a part of the anonymous blogging community. Hats off to the rest of you all. I've just been going through a bit of a stick for a little while now and haven't had anyone to confide in so i thought I'd write here. Lets call me Po. So a little about two and a half years back, I moved cities. I was 15 then, I'm gonna be 18 in a couple of months now. Little scary. I was an extremely strong person mentally. I never faced any mental problems. I had loads of friends. I often helped people out with their issues. About 8 months after moving, i got into a relationship with this really amazing person. Lets call her Boo. Boo was the only super close friend i had in this new city and we were super super close. I dont mean to say that i wasnt happy or was facing mental troubles. I've always been very strong and i was very happy. I've been in the relationship close to two years now. At several points during it, I've tried to harm myself. I have cut myself or hit myself hard on several occasions. I feel this relationship has really drained me mentally. I feel its made me weak. Po and Boo are very different people. While i am completely secure about our relationship, she is super insecure. Unfortunately, that works out for none of us. She feels me being secure implies i dont care about her. I feel her being insecure implies she doesnt trust me. we differ in almost every single way. I thought it was beautiful that we were making this work. It doesnt feel that way now. It hasnt felt that way for a while. I feel, Boo is a person who idealises toxic relationships. And i feel that is exactly what we are in. All traits that i think of as toxic such as being overly insecure, not eating because the other person got hurt or something, she thinks of as cute. I dont wanna make this too long. Im gonna end this now. I just feel that this has really drained out the happiness from me. I have a lovely family. I have great friends. This relationship has made me cut off from all my friends. Okay this just seems like a pathetic and sad blog now. Im bad at expressing stuff. Very. Im just gonna end this before it gets weird. Im sorry for anyone who reads this. I love you
Not always, but often times we know what we need to do in life but the crappy part is that we feel like we can't. We can. But yes it may hurt the other person. He'll it will hurt us to do it. But that pain and feeling of loss is nothing compared to lifelong struggle the weight of an unhealthy life. Life is good and we are free and happy beings if we allow ourselves to be. For some it isn't always that simple but for most of us it is. I don't want to make a prediction but I've seen this before. Boo will fake a pregnancy if and when you try to break up, but if you get back together she will be determined to trap you for real. Be a friend if you can, you sound honest and good, but run Forrest, get out from under this unfortunate weight before it crushes you.