I just genuinely feel like sh*t. I go back to school on Tuesday for the first time this school year. I am a freshman and I know absolutely no one. I feel like everyone already has friends and I am going to continue feeling like this introverted outcast who barely knows how to speak. I am scared of people hearing my stutter and lisp. Let me be honest when I say, I am scared of speaking in general. I had found a few of the girls tiktok and it makes me feel worse. They are all these white rich girls and I am about as opposite as there can be. The one day that I had went in for orientation, all of them were talking to each other and I felt like I was on the verge of an anxiety attack. I just hate the feeling of being so different and envious. I just don't want to go and I feel like no one cares about me.