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any motivations?

I'm sad, ever since i was 10 we were always moving places because we're poor. Up until now, we still have no house. I tell myself I need to study hard so that I'll have a good future but sometimes my anxiety just kicks in. I don't even have a room myself and I can't seem to focus on studying because I don't have my own space and I might disturbed my parents who are sleeping. I don't know what's in the store for me in the future either. I just hope that one day everything would be fine and we'll be financially stable i guess.



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Re: any motivations?

You know; I think I know why God somehow led me to this site. This whole sharing thing is not me. I never share. But no one knows who I am. I think I’m dying; so why not.

Over the years I often slept In a lot of floors. I was passed back & forth between people who worked me like a slave. My parents hated me. I rarely had a bed. I’ve been homeless.

I started sleeping in a bed when I married.

I was so poor I never ate breakfast. I never had lunch money. I wore rags. I never had a coat. Kids mocked me. I’m old so no one cared back then. I showed up covered in bruises with black eyes. No one cared.

But I succeeded for a while. Now I sleep in a storage room animal cages at 60. I’m close to becoming homeless again. I’m not sure if I can avoid that for much longer.

But in between I had some really good years.

In the west we are sold an illusion. We are all supposed to be rich. Successful. Well the west has sent much of their factories to places like China. They important immigrants to lower wages & benefits. It’s harder & harder to obtain that dream. Even if you try to grab it; massive debt becomes a constant.

I tried to get my wife to live in a cheap house or mobile home. Save our money. Nope. I even paid off a giant house by working my self in the ground. I got sick & she sold it.

But I look at the past. I look at places like China & Nigeria. Columbia & Iraq. The 1800’s. By modern western standards I’ve had it hard. By the standards of the past or some other lands, I’ve done OK. Hey; living to 60 would have been good in the 1400’s. So I’m rocking it from a different point of view.

You have to adjust your expectations. Walking to work when others have BMWs is hard; if you make it hard. I’ve done it. Or you can think wow; I’m lucky I don’t live in socialist China. Do you get it? America’s section 8 housing residents have brick apartments; basketball courts; free food; bus service; mowed lawns; library; music lessons; jobs in walking distance; buses to school. They have it much better than the middle class in socialist nations. Look at Cuba. They still drive the exact same cars that existed there in the 50’s before they went socialist. People in US housing projects often have better cars. Do you get it?