So I am by no means suicidal or depressed. I have been depressed before and realized it’s from a current situation and act accordingly to change it. But when I drink even just catch a buzz I get this feeling of contentness. I almost feel like I am ready to die and move on. It’s not from depression or sadness. It’s more like a weird peaceful feeling. I don’t drink too often but when I do I almost always feel this way. Again I am not depressed or suicidal.