So, my siblings just all suck, part of me wonders is it me being selfish and am I the asshole or are they? I am one of six, four guys, two girls. Me and my sister don't speak as we've realised we're better off and more peaceful without each other in our lives. My brothers are just so selfish, I don't know whether I romanticised the idea of having loads of grown up siblings but honestly, I always try to be there for them whether it's by helping them move, decorate, looking after their kids if they need me to but none of this is reciprocated and I end up feeling taken advantage of when they don't come through for me. By saying that, I mean, I don't need them to do stuff for me or give me stuff in return but my calls aren't welcome if I ever need to talk, unless it's about them, they only ring me when they want something. Whenever they actually answer there is always something that comes up that means they have to leave the conversation, tell me they'll call me back and dont. To be honest though, this feels like it with everyone, maybe I'm just needy and sap everyone of their energy? I feel so alone to be honest. I have a wonderful husband and two children but I don't have anyone outside of this that I can speak to as a friend that wants me to speak to them. So many phonecalls I make are just ignored and I don't mean acknowledged with a text, I mean just totally ignored as though it never happened, as though I don't exist. When I was growing up and in my twenties I was focused on my own family and drifted from my friends. They didn't really want to get involved, they visited occasionally but since friends from the same group have had kids they treat them totally differently and spend time with them which really hurts, threw them a baby shower, went to their hen do etc when they got married. And, I join in with celebrating them, I am genuinely happy for them, just sad that they didn't feel the same for me. I just don't feel like I have a true friend that's happy to speak to me whenever I need to/ever actually and I know I might sound high maintenance but I have stopped trying now and just communicate through text, which I honestly find the most superficial way of communicating when it comes to actually communicating actual feelings etc. Do I forget these friends and focus on new people forgetting years of friendship or do I keep going on and make myself feel worse? The problem is, I also feel that way with my family and I just don't deserve it. I would have said my sister in law is someone that has always been there for me but recently it seems like its all totally on her terms and I've been treated like the overkeen idiot again? If you're friends with someone, shouldn't you want to talk to them? or do you think maybe they don't want to talk to me because I'm too self centred? I would say that you probably check in and have a convo with your closest friends and family a couple of times a week to see how they are and then less close circle maybe once a week if you have news to share, is there anything wrong with wanting to just check in with someone and make sure they're okay? Do I sound like an asshole? I don't even know any more, I just feel pretty alone most of the time aside from my husband. He really is great and I love him and in lots of ways he is my best friend, I can talk to him about anything and everything really but I also want a friend outside of my marriage that I can gain some perspective from that won't always just agree because they love me and wouldn't want to upset me. I know people would probably advise forget the friends, stick with the husband which I fully intend to do regards my husband but I just feel pretty crappy and worthless and like people don't want to speak to me because I am crappy and worthless and a garbage person. All those people can't be wrong about one person can they? What am I doing wrong? I sometimes try to kid myself that I just caught them at the wrong time or they're busy, but way too many coincidences have passed for that to be a valid thought now. They just don't like me and I don't know why, and if I can't get rid of this thing about me they don't like I'll never have any friends and will always feel this shitty.