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ashamed

when I was younger, I thought I couldn't cosplay bcuz I wasn't the color of the person so i used to cry in my grandma's room. I used to look up ways to get whiter or "brighter". my town also loves "half-breeds" (basically half white or just fully white people) so I lied abt my race a lot, I felt unacceptable since I was fully native. I had 2 white friends in 5th grade, I wanted to seem more "white-washed" so I hung out with them despite them doing horrible things and being toxic. I am now proud to be who I am, I am "flavorful" kidding lol but I just remembered that and it triggered me to know that it left a huge impact on my life. but I do not like my looks as much as my skin color, so I'm working on it :D