i see all my friends doing so well now. They’re getting S/Os, making friends, going to events, having people over. I have none of that. I can’t talk to anyone anymore, I’m autistic, and even though I’m the most functional there is, people still treat me like a stupid kid and avoid me. I can’t talk to people, cause they don’t see me as really a person sometimes, and avoid me, and belittle me. I’m sure this is somewhat my fault, though I’m not sure how, but it’s an unending loop. I can’t escape it. And honestly I might end up just, knocking my block off. The only thing really stopping me is the fear of pain, and the fear that after death there is nothing. That it’s just boredom. And while this life is hell, boredom is worse. Idk how much longer I can do this. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t. So there. There’s my confession.