This year has really been tough on me both mentally and psychically. Dealing with the stress of not knowing wether or not my son is safe from his unstable and very dangerous father to dealing with all the covid nonsense. I knew being a mother would come with many obstacles that could make a girl stronger but i did not know that so many things could happen in your life at one time could cause a woman to break down so badly in front of her child like i did today. I feel awful letting my five year old son see me break down and I pray to god he doesn't feel betrayed from it....I
I've lost so many family members on my fathers side this year and in the last two months and today i get a call from my brother telling me another member was found shot dead in his home just makes it even harder to keep a brave face so my son doesn't have a reason to ask me "Mommy why are you crying again?" This has been the most tragic, difficult, exhausting and mentally emotionally draining year of my life and I'm stuck at a dead end not knowing what to do or where to even go at this point and i just wish things could go back to the way they were but thats not even possible.