bad times

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i have a bunch of meds by me and i have been planning to kill myself. i need help but i cant get it because i dont want my mom knowing. Idk what to do anymore.. I failing in all my classes, everyone hates me, I feel like im a dissapointment. i feel horrible about myself and i just want to leave everything, it pains me to see my family dissapointed in me. I cant believe im the way i am. I don't know why i let myself get to this point. I just dont fucking know and im dont feeling this way. ive felt this way for the past year i just never got the balls to do anything, but now I do.

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