Begging for anyone’s help

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I am on this message board because I can feel myself losing hope every day. I am so lost and if I feel the way I do forever I don’t know I want out of this life. This is not where I expected myself to be at 18. I’m so tired mentally. I feel like I’ve lived 5 different lives. I feel like I’m never going to be truly happy. And no matter how hard I try it doesn’t get better. I feel like the people who abused me got away Scott free and I’m here left to pick up the pieces. I struggle to go a day without crying and feeling shitty. It’s been years but I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I just want to feel okay and happy for once. I feel so trapped. I want to go off the grid for a year just to clear my head.

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