Lately I've had a hard time being close to Aron. It's not him in specific, but I only really talk to him so I don't really know if it is really just him. Yesterday, we could barely have a conversation. It's never happened before. I think that's what young brunette therapists would call a "off day". It's okay that we had an off day, I understand and I'm not mad about it. I'm just scared that it'll last more than that one day. Today has been weird slightly but not the worst. We had a few moments of rough conversation, but right now, we're on face-time while he's on the game with his friends. It's nice hearing him so full of energy and laughter. He seems really happy :)
Is it in my head?
I don't really know if I'm being communicative, or if I'm just complaining a lot. It seems like every time I bring up what has upset me, he gets really annoyed. If it's not him taking a deep sigh, it's him saying:
"I thought I was doing okay.." In his miserable, monotone voice.
It guilt trips me every time he puts on that voice, and it feels like I'm wrong for having emotions. I know I'm not wrong for feeling the way I do, which by the way, is usually jealousy. I mean he is usually the one making me feel that way, right? Maybe it's just me and I'm overreacting over it all, but sometimes other people point out the things I'm getting upset over. Like they'll send me the things I see, and agree that I should be upset over it. But, when I mention those feelings to Aron, he acts as if I'm insecure or too jealous. He asks me "are you really upset right now?". Well of course I'm upset, you're telling other girls how I make you feel like a machine and how you're so unhappy in life. Whatever I guess. I can't control what he says or does. He's still my boyfriend. His argument is that he only needs the bare requirements in a relationship, and he doesn't enjoy showing off his S/o. I wish he would show me off. We talked about it today and he caved and said he'll work on it and try. I appreciate that, I really do. Its been about 7 months, and I'm happy we're working through our differences. I love his differences.