Being older with an eating disorder

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No one gives a crap about you when you are older with an eating disorder.

Mid thirties with ED professionals don’t take you seriously and neither do those close to you that you eventually tell.

When you hit over thirty the attitude is basically get over it or go die quietly.

While of course only we can truly make ourselves better there’s no one in my corner helping me in anyway at all.

People just don’t give a f##k.

It seems the only people worth fighting for are teenagers and 20 something university students who all have these doting parents and families who push them into treatment, spend the required money or help with insurance and literally support these girls to get well again. And who root for them and never stop loving them and caring for them through it all

What support do the rest of us have? None.

Who tries to stop me when I engage in behaviours when I cannot stop myself?

This is a mental illness that does not discriminate based on age.

Yet it seems like there is some sort of invisible support cut off for older sufferers.

Like because of our age we don’t matter anymore or no longer have value of any kind as human beings?

We somehow recover on our own without support or we wait to die.

I’m so sorry that I have been like this for so long that I actually want someone to care enough to help me because I cannot help me.

I crave a loving supportive family which I do not have.

I just wish someone gave a shit for once.

No wonder I want to kms. Honestly.

Is this my purpose in life?

To suffer from an eating disorder all my life and work non stop in a job I hate until I’m 65 years old and my pension kicks in and then I can relax finally and die peacefully? Literally hope it kills me before then. Life is pure unadulterated hell. I f#####g hate existence.