It's my birthday today.
Growing up we never did birthdays. My parents were both older parents and grew up in the era of children should be seen and not heard. It's not like they didn't acknowledge birthdays, it's just that it was never really made to feel special. I guess since we also didn't have a lot of money, everything had to be multifunctional including celebrations. Your birthday is a pretty good excuse to buy you new socks and jocks, you might even get to pick the takeaway dinner.
Seems I've internalised all that non-celebration and now...even though I wish my birthday was a Big Deal I'm afraid it would be a dull chore for everyone around me. I don't know how to celebrate myself or my achievements and I feel so resentful that nobody remembers me while simultaneously feeling like a complete ass about being resentful because I've never actually asked.
How laughable. How pathetic.
So here's some unsolicited advice from a future hermit: learn to celebrate yourself. Take any opportunity to make yourself feel seen and heard and appreciated. Give the people around you and opportunity to tell you how important and loved you are.