All you guys see is a blank space but what I see is comfort. I see a house full of people but yet I still isolate myself in a room. I see happiness but all you guys still see is a blank space, I see reassurance, I see a big window and outside of that window I see trees and stars and a bright moon, but yet all you guys see is a blank space. I find comfort in the littlest things but yet you guys still see a blank space, i don't isolate myself to get better or to feel better , i isolate myself because that's what calms me thats what helps me push through everything but yet you guys still see a blank space. I see the trees swaying in the wind, the shooting stars, the reflection of the moon on the water. It's all a sign of pure comfort to me, once you sit in a room alone by yourself the lights turned off the door closed and look at the ceiling or the wall but its so dark you really can't see anything but it just comfortable, i'm not sure you understand what i mean once you stare out the window and watch the trees swaying and hear the crisp wind you won't understand what i'm really talking about. Depression isnt always about crying or cutting or not wanting to up or even get out of bed not wanting to take a shower, but it's also about being in a house full of people and not wanting to talk to them or not wanting to be out somewhere or maybe not even wanting to be in your own body. It's about finding peace and quiet in a room filled with chaos. I hope one day the things i say or write about will help someone out with the same troubles as me, i hope that they can find happiness in that blank space, when reading this i hope you feel some type of comfort and some type of relaxation and find your inner peace. I understand not everyone is the the same but problems like this we can all come together and help one another out and help you find what you're missing because right now i don't know what i'm missing i don't know why i have this feeling in my stomach when my heart is racing my eye is twitching, i feel the need to cry but nothing's coming out no matter how hard i try i can't help but feel lost and confused in a moment like this when i'm trying to find happiness and find my inner peace it almost doesn't feel real like i'm in a dream, it almost feels like having a panic attack and sitting there bawling your eyes out with your hands over ears and you hear muffled sounds it's almost like sitting in the shower for hours just just letting the water hit you and run down your body and feeling some type of comfort. My mind is really heavy. I don't know why my heart aches and i don't know how many times i try to help myself but nothing seems to work but just sitting in a dark room looking at nothing just makes everything go away and i feel safe and secure in a room full of darkness.