Botteled pain😣

Time Spent- 34m
19 Visitors
I love a guy who was from my family been together like from childhood first i didn't know what it was i liked his presence and also was very sad on the little idea that i had to leave on this particular day from the place where he was i dint still understand what it was slowly i started feeling weird arround him i started imagining that i might possibly have a future with him and i started hearing people talk or rather i would say like they r gonna marry someday later and it used to be so good to hear such words and i started imaging my life more arround him with him and then when i was finally kind off was liking the changes and different things happening in my life all mainly positively something happend that i had never imagined or would imagine he died all of the sudden i couldn't belive it could not think of not hearing him speak again not seeing him again i couldnt imagine i dint actually belive it anyway until i found the story on the news i dint understand i thought they might have made a mistake i cried and cried for like i dnt know the exact hour but i kept crying until the next morning i was holding on to it thinking it would have been a fake news i wasnt allowed to go see him so i had to wait so when everyone came back they brought in thw newspapers and i couldn't see his picture that was the last time last picture the reality hit me heard in that moment and from day long i still feel like i might find him there again when i visit the place i just think maybe it was all just a lie i dream sometimes that he was there and i can't bear the fact that i forgot his voice i never told him how i felt about him i didn't have enough time with him even though though if he would have been alive and wouldn't be with me i still wish to see him alive safe and sound i wish i could have had more time with him i really miss him and i never told this to him but i love u and i really really miss u a lot that smile or the way u speak out my name that would all be enough i wish u were with me this here is never enough to express my pain and love for u its been 9years there were times i wished did stupid things imagining u would comeback but i want u back see u fine hear ur philosophies of life u always used to quote on any random reason or situation i miss u and i love u man