I have some fucking unresolved shit about a fucking boy that I once dated when I was a kid. okay to be frank I am still a kid but like I dated this guy a year ago and I'm hopefully more mature now. I'm angry. I'm angry at him for being more happy, better at studies or sports or whatever but mostly because he's so much more happier than me. even though I love him I fucking hate feeling so helpless and pathetic and I fucking hate that he is HAPPY. Happy with his new fucking perfect girl fucking friend. this thin ass, pretty, funny bitch ugh she's fucking perfect and I hate it. I hate him so much ill fucking slap him honestly I think I hate him but when I imagine his face everything just goes away and all I feel is love. It's not even like he's so good looking that i forget about everything its just idk, I love him, I care about him and I dated him for a long time too so I don't know …this face istg when will I start to hate this face i really want to though. now see I know if someone reads this they will judge me but bro. I. don't. give. a. shit. ANYMORE. because for once I want stuff to be about me. about me cause I'm fucking important. everything, and i mean EVERYTHING in my life has been about someone else and the people who actually give attention to me are my fucking 2 bestfriends and this fucking guy. I don't tell this stuff to one of my bestf cause she wont fucking get it and the other ones slowly getting annoyed. kinda lost a friend too because of this shit but hey everyone knows that wasn't meant to be ugh why cant i like not give a shit about this guy like idc about other people. im just done. I WANT TO MOVE ON I REALLY DO I WANT TO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM BUT I CANT. AND THAT MAKES ME HELPLESS AND WEAK AND THE CHEERY ON TOP IS THE FACT THAT HE KNOWS I LOVE HIM, HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM BUT HES STILL A KID AND HES IMMATURE AND HE DOESNT WANT ME. yeah that's it, that's what i cant admit, my stupid ass cant admit that he doesn't care about me and ill never be as important to him.
DON'T WANT TIPS OR COMMENTS ON HOW BAD MY GRAMMAR OR WRITING SKILLS ARE JUST WANT TO MOVE ON UGH HELP ME I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.