I am not in any sort of relationship right now, can barely say I have close friends, because only one of them seems to care about me for real. Regained connection with an old friend I made while I was in Portalegre, Bah. Been to her house on the last weekend of last month, going back this month again, we’ve been getting closer again. Made new friends, although they are all far away, they still try to connect and keep a healthy friendship. Been simping over a dude for a while now, it’s about time I give that shit up, but it’s hard, because I want him so bad… He’s my person, you know?
We started talking a few months ago, at the beginning of lockdown. We got along from the start and started throwing those little flirtatious hints and jokes… We’ve never been together in person though. I don’t want to put myself out there and get hurt again, so I started to avoid flirting and long calls on the phone. I think he got the hint and started talking to an old friend of his and now they are dating… I feel like shit inside out. I don’t want to tell him anything, but it hurts whenever we are on the phone just talking or playing until 4 or 5 in the morning and when he hangs up, I just have this urge to disappear… I just cry myself to sleep now