my older brother has bpd and i just hurt inside watching everything around me crumble. it sucks pretending everything's okay when it just isn't. sometimes i can't shake the feeling that one day i will wake up and he won't be there anymore. i've watched for years as my parents try and comfort him when he's sad or help him when he comes home drunk and high even though i know it tears them apart. he's getting help at a facility far away from where i live but my worst fear is that he will come back and nothing will change. i can't keep listening to the crying, screaming and banging. i love my brother so much but im terrified he will come home and things will get even worse. i don't want him to die. im just so scared.