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Brother

I am only 14 years old and when I was 13 my brother who was my favorite person stopped talking to my family. He strangled my older sister for "taking sides with us" and on new years 2019 he showed up at 1:00am, I saw him at my doorway to my room and I was terrified because he had a beer bottle in his hand so he was drunk and when he gets drunk he gets really angry. He hugged me and said sorry and then said he was going outside to talk with mum and dad. He got really angry and him and dad got into a fight, he tried to kill my dad while I was in my room listening to it all with my two other friends. He smashed his head against our window and had to get 6 stitches. We had to call the police and they wrote it down as domestic violence, we could have got a restraining order on him but mum didn't want to because he has a kid and if thats on his record and something happens with his child he wont have a good record. I dont miss him but I miss what it was like 4-5 years ago. I think about him everyday and I wish things could go back.