3 months ago
Time Spent- 6m
7 Visitors

Bullying and healing

I'm 21 years old now, and I hate hugs a lot, especially from guys (I'm a guy). 3 weeks ago I was with one of my friends and he tried to me forcefully, he knows I do hate hugs, and I literally jumped and threw a scene, like I was seriously angry it was awkward. But, then I asked my self, "what did hugs ever do to me, that I hate it so much". I pondered, and 2006 came out

When I was in a grade 2 I had a bully who use to hug me and put me on his shoulder and beat me up. we would walk all the way from school to near my home on his shoulder. He would make us use the way that did not have many people, so he can do all kinds of things to me. I remember one day he peed in a bottle and poured it on my head saying he's putting gasoline on me. When I got home I kept quiet and they found out by my school uniform smelling piss and I got in trouble, but I did not tell them what truly happened (Stupid me, if I said something they would have intervened, but I was under the impression that they would not do nothing like they did with other minor bullyings I suffred),

So throughout the years I thought I hate hugs as a personal preference, but now I thank God I found the source of my problem. It is easy now to work at this fear, and breaking free. I want to forgive him and heal. I haven't seen him since 2006, but I hope he is doing well. He was clearly abused himself at home, because he had this obnoxious behaviour, and was having sexual knowledge inappropriate for his young age

Can't wait to enjoy hugs, take care