I refuse to get close to anyone anymore because all they do is leave. First the one I cared about moved to another state without warning. Then another one I cared about started to bully me and when I spoke up to her she got me in trouble and she never got in trouble. Then another started making me only talk to her but she could talk to everyone. Then she was my friend until 4 years later when she wouldn’t be my friend or talk to me anymore because i Was the fat weird girl and she found a chance to have new friends. Then another just makes me feel ashamed for having my feelings. Then the only friend who understood me committed suicide.. my own sister left me to rot in an abusive house. My dad has no clue and won’t even listen. My mom is sick of hearing about it. My counselor doesn’t tell me shit on how to cope. I can’t trust anyone anymore. And it’s so sad that every day tho only thing I get messages from is the I Am Sober app telling me that I’ve gone another day trying to find happiness while feeling numb and pretending I’m happy. I’m just tired of it. I feel like I’m in a dream and I wasn’t to get out. If killing myself is the only way then I’ll do it! I just want this to end!!