Can't Fight It

Time Spent- 32m
12 Visitors

Just feel alone

Like I have no one

Even when I have people I know are

For me

They all all have this vibe like

Is today the day she won't be here

I don't want to do anything with myself anymore . I use to be optimistic , I still find myself being positive for other people

But for my own life I see nothing but people

Moving on

And out growing me

If today was my last

No one would be surprised

They might even feel relieved

For them and myself

Because I wasn't suffering

My boyfriend clearly is with me for

Reasons of pity and guilt

My children well they'd be the only ones who missed me if my youngest even remembers me

I feel like that was the plan overall though

Drive me to the point of suicide or to the point that I was deemed unfit

I wasn't always like this

But now I can't fight it

I'm going to die and I don't know when

I just know it won't be a surprise

People will barely miss or remember

me after a year

Every ones life will move on and be better without me

Maybe I'll be happier too I can watch over everyone and protect my children until I'm sure they can protect themselves and anyone elses

Who needs me

Maybe that's how it's supposed to be