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CHANDC

Hi, I’m 24 y.o. from philippines and still in the closet🙁🙁. I dont know if I ever be able to open this up with my friends especially to my parents because i already know they wont accept me and if i tell my friends eventually my parents will know soon or i think if i tell all of them im gay they will be saying that their presumptions were right and i dont want them to be right (i dont know if it makes sense)...and also i really dont like people telling me that im gay or i dont talk manly enough or the way that i move or act.. i really hate it when people say dont do that, dont do this cause you talk or look like a girl. I really hate my life. I hate myself so much, sometimes i think that somethings wrong with me or there’s broken in my brain or my genes, i always have self doubt and i really cant learn to love myself🙁 and its so f*cking sad that i dont have someone to talk to, i cant muster enough courage to try and talk with my closest friend and there were times i tried talking to my friend, i ended up overthinking maybe its not the right time or maybe he/she is not the One i should talk to.. i always keep making excuses on why i should not talk, but my heart, my brain, my body, myself, its hurting, i dont know how I can live with this pain and hurt, i really wanna open up you know.. i just cant, i dont know how to do it... sometimes i pray or hope that someday i can do it, i can live life to the fullest, be happy and live no regrets until i die....


and also if i think about coming out i also think about my parents how they dislike gays very much saying its not in the bible blah blah...(the number 1 reason im scared to come out), my parents always scold me like stop doing that or this cause i look gay🙁🙁 it makes me sad/depressed/angry that my parents cant accept me or love me for who i am!!!😭😭😭 It really hurts my Feelings ALOT every time they tell me ‘stop acting like a gay’.. it hurts soo much that i want to DIE or LEAVE them so i can be free, i can be myself in other country without worrying about the people (parents/aunt/uncle/cousins/siblings) who cant accept the real me!! But apart of me thinks i should not leave them cause i have this responsibility to take care of them when they get old, to give back of what they gave me, my education, food, shelter, i owe them alot.. but if i do that, i wont be happy😔😔, dont get me wrong, i love my parents.. i care for them so much but its just not enough.. i cant be FREE when im with them and i really dont know how to deal with this shit!!!! HELP!!!!!!🤬🤯😭😭😭

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Re: CHANDC reply

i'm going through a similar situation just know you need to be strong, if your family cant accept you when/if you come out then you don't owe them anything. you can still love them but move on and live your own life. At the end of the day you can't chose who you love, being gay is really no different than being straight. Even thought you don't know me and i don't know you, just know that i support you unconditionally and i hold a place for you in my heart. ❤️

u r loved











i also thought of killing myself.. thinking that i wont suffer from this pain anymore, the feeling that people cant accept me, the embarassment, the bullying. People always tease me how unmanly i act or move or talk. I really wanna kill myself cause im sad, im lonely and i dont wanna feel this feeling anymore😭😭😭😭. Even i have friends, i still feel lonely or sad cause i cant or wont talk about this to them. I always have a hard time speaking up, talking about feelings.

I want to congratulate you on coming out to the world because there is nothing more free than knowing what you are. And let’s be clear. You are a human being. And those labels are not going to stop you from being the amazing person you are.