Christianity makes me sad

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I'm really sad about Christians. I just think it'S so sad that there are so many people who are supposedly dedicated to goodness and love, and yet hate so much. I know that it's not all the same, that there are some who are truly charitable and forgiving and compassionate like the man they profess to follow. But there are so so many who are just hateful and mean and entitled.

How could this have even happened??? You are supposed to be part of a religious congregation because you are trying to do the right thing, better yourself and GROW spiritually. and so many of them miss the mark entirely. They act hypocritically and put on a show when they actually harbour so much jealousy and hatred in their hearts.

I don't belong to any single religion but I respect what jesus stands for and think that if you truly are interested in living your life like him, you could through christianity deepen yourself into the spiritual realms, if you truly follow your heart and Jesus you can become a better person for this world. But they just dont. They don't go truly deep enough into the pains and problems of life and the never ending life giving wonder of helping others, loving them and taking care of them.

It just makes me sad.