I have never written out my feelings ever, cause basically writing is not my thing but honestly I don't why this thing which literally never matters to me is hurting so much especially after watching a drama similar to it so I thought why not give it a try.So here's the situation I kinds look ugly but it obviously never ever mattered to me. I know that I'm and everybody in the world don't always need to be beautiful and I believe the saying everybody is beautiful in their own way is bullshit. Its okay if a person is not beautiful which I'm, the world does not stop if I'm not beautiful but I'm smart. So this is what I always believed but something happened and it hurt me a lot. I was having a conversation with two people my best friend and his friend where his another girl friend had mistaken me as his girlfriend which I'm not (PS there are no hidden feelings here, we have platonic friendship). While he was speaking about it to his friend, his friend said that my days have gone so bad to date a person like him (we always joke about such things and also say to each other that they look bad but its always just a joke) that day while defending he started saying he could never date me ( which obviously doesn't matter to me) but while making it clear he said "has his friend ever seen my face how can he date me". The second part doesn't matter as I wouldn't ever date him either but the first I don't know how it just pricked me. We always joke about it but that day it said like he meant it, like it was just a normal reflex. I have been called average looking, black, kali and stuff before but it never mattered to me cause I don't care what others think about it but I do care what my friends think. So I don't know I just couldn't forget it thing and watching a similar series trigged it I guess. I know I wrote just a huge thing but I don't know whether I'm relieved or it made me think more, but yeah here's my story and also to add to my story I'm sadder because I came second in. competition which was unfair. So yeah kuddos to one of the bad days in my life.