When is it time to make a change? Something about my functionality is faulty, it’s broken. I have noticed an increase in visiting this site, what for? As a way to vent my depressive thoughts? I seem to be having problems but I’m struggling to pin point the issue. But I know something needs to change.I was thinking through the next few days, when I got a message from my boss about Monday the 8th March. Honestly, I am so down trodden, anxiety ridden and burnt out, I cannot consider the idea of 5 days into the future. My stomach turned and I suddenly felt hopeless. I didn’t go home for christmas, I’m doing all I can to help the effort to get through this misery, but I don’t know how much more oomph i have to get through this. I’m horrifically depressed. I manage to smile through my zoom screen, but like most, I too and dead on the inside. And yesterday I heard a supermarket employee have to explain to a boomer that “it didn’t matter if he had been vaccinated, others in the store are yet to be vaccinated and the mask is for Other peoples protection, not your own. Im just depressed. I work and relax in front of the same screen, my building has constant car alarms going off throughout the day... I’m losing my mind. I’m just depressed. Im working twice a hard but I’m making less, amongst taxes and bills, I don’t care paying them but recently my council fucked up my account and so I had to dedicate an entire day, waiting on hold to resolve the issue. That was fun, oh no, wait, no. It wasn’t. my partner is out of work due to venues closing. so I’m working harder than ever, making less money than usual, supporting twice the amount of people. I seem to get through the work days, but why are my days off so bad, (in regards to mental health? )I want to feel like I can have a little treat without panicking about my current expenditure predictions. (After dipping into my savings, it looks like I’m paying out more than I’m getting in, so... bankrupt by August? And this was supposed to be the year I got to go on holiday. (last left the country in 2013) I didn’t go home for Christmas, nor am I booking a holiday this year. Because I value my partner, my friends, my family being able to get back to work. Not everyone made it onto the “essential list” does that mean they are expected to restart and build up an “essential skill”? I dunno if the uk needs 10million construction workers, 10 million call centre workers etc..surely, there comes a point where that would negatively effect the people already in these jobs, right?I don’t mind working hard for the big bucks but I’m currently working hard and making minus simoleons per month. I don’t know how much longer I can do thisI’m too squeamish to do anything. That’s why I know that, ultimately, I am not capable of taking my life. But if it was something easy like clicking my fingers? What then?im lying here, as the car alarms surrounding my flat, blare on, thinking about how if I wasn’t so scared, I would have clicked my fingers 10000 times today.