Time Spent- 1h 4m
23 Visitors


You know, I cried on the way to the airport, I cried at the airport, people were looking at me wondering what is going on, and I was shaking, drinking my wine, feeling sick with mascara running down my eyes. I felt like I’ve lost something so precious, something that is never going to be back in my life. I felt like something died inside me. God, I am so afraid of coming back home, I don’t want to. You know, I can’t stop thinking you have somebody else, or you like somebody else, which is perfectly fine, obviously… but I get so jealous. I just want to get over this because it is killing me. You didn’t know I was leaving, so I suppose you never saw my message, which made me feel better today, but I regretted so much I didn’t talk to you yesterday, or the day before. I wish we had spent at least one day together, just me and you, I wish you had kissed me. I was trying to convince myself to talk to you, I was thinking “he is just like me, just a regular human being, I can do this”, but when I looked at you, I felt like my heart dropped, I simply didn’t have any courage, I think I wouldn’t be able to say a thing to you. I don’t know what to do, I just want you to read this message, I just want you to know that I am madly into you. But now I’ve lost you forever. I don’t know how to sleep, eat, live without you now. Of course, I am going to get over this at some point, or at least I hope so, but right now I am just dead inside. The feeling of loneliness, desperation, jealousy and God knows what is just boiling inside me. I am so sad I never got a chance to say goodbye to you, I wish I had a proper look at you one last time, I wish I could look you in the eyes, but now, all that is left in my memory is this perfect industrial picture of you sitting in front of the computer, I hope I never forget it. I feel miserable, honestly. I feel stupid hoping you felt the same way about me. I know now it doesn’t change anything, but I just can’t. Now I am going to leave you in peace, I promise, I won’t send you any love messages anymore.