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Confession: I hate my brother

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I know it sounds cruel but he was always considered the "special kid" or the "popular kid". I was two years apart form in high school and he was a the popular kid who played soccer and got along with everything. He was the epitome of what everyone wanted to be or be friends with in late 90s America. I was the average kid but because I was in his shadow I was always considered the black sheep or, as if there were something wrong with me because I wasn't #1 in my class or played soccer.


After high school he went on to Harvard and then to Harvard Medical School. Trained as prestigious universities afterwards and specializing in a surgical field. He met (his now wife) in his fellowship. Another overachiever from Germany. She's honestly like the stereotypical German we think of here in the US. She's from Munich, during certain holidays she wears a dirndl, has pigtails and is loud. She went to Heidelberg University in Germany which is like the top university in Germany. She's also a doctor who with covid has been on several local news shows and even interviews on several national networks.


I on the other hand graduated high school in the middle of my class, went to a state college, married my high school girl and have four beautiful children. I run a large golf course in our state and my wife is a nurse. But this isn't good enough for anybody. I can't go into a store in town without being told they saw my sister-in-law on tv or they heard both of them are "great doctors".


Every year our parents hold a large 4th party and we drive over the weekend. My brother drives an expensive Porsche which of course he had to bring, however his wife had to bring their G-Wagon which towed a boat for the lake. I feel like they're royalty and I feel like that everyone looks down at me and my family because I didn't attend an Ivy league college or became a doctor. I don't drive two fancy cars, or spend my vacations in Europe or other exotic destinations.


I've gown to hate my brother over the years. I admit he tries hard. Always comes over to see us and the kids, brings gifts, take us all out to dinners or small vacations. But I feel a deep resentment towards him. My aunt remarked yesterday that his wife still looks 18 even though she's 38 because she doesn't have kids and she runs and exercises daily, and that if my wife didn't have four kids she would look like she did in her youth. My oldest son invited both of them for his show and tell zoom class this year because they were both doctor and helped many people. Next year they want to take our oldest son to Germany so he can see where his Aunt grew up and see the country for it's beauty and culture. I am already trying to think of a way so he won't go. I don't want my children to be polluted by their lifestyle. They make a lot of money, drive nice cars, have a nice home and travel often. I fear my kids will eventually start to think that's normal and perhaps we lacked somewhere in life.


Anyway, I'm done ranting.





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