i think im starting to like my close friend. im emotionally unavailable and dont wanna ruin the friendship but i cant help but get butterflies. i just got out of a bad hookup situation where the person was gaslighting me and being abusive and i dont want to come off as toxic or just using him. it doesnt help that he used to be engaged and still has feelings for his ex fiance. i cant afford to be in a relationship right now but i also cant help my growing feelings. i feel like something is wrong with me. i dont ever want to love someone and i hate myself for liking him. i feel like im annoying or come off too much that i like him and im afraid ill scare him off one day. i try to keep distance and keep it platonic but it can be so hard. what is wrong with me??