So, I’m laying here alone again. It’s 4:16 in the morning and I only have one thing on my mind, it’s always the one thing on my mind. She destroyed me though, left me for rubbish and keeps me on a leash in case she wants me back, she knows she can, I know she can.. such a tight grip this girl has, 4 weeks of pain, the longest 4 weeks of my life.. yesterday she told me she was pregnant, 5 weeks 3 days, it’s mine obviously, that girl would never cheat.. I already have 2 kids, she has 1, a girl, in which her daughter has never met her real father And has grown up to see me as her dad, she’s known nothing else.. so I technically have 3, with a 4th on the way.. I’m 27, I don’t know what I’m doing, I want to walk away, but I can’t. There’s another girl sleeping in my bed right now and I just couldn’t care less, so much so that I haven’t had sex in over a week, I just don’t want too. I can’t bring myself too, fucking the girl in my bed was a mistake and it’s ruined any chance I had of winning her back.. she told me she slept with another guy last night, my whole soul left my body, numb and constricted, my throat closed up and went as dry as the Australian deserts. I’m so tired, I’m just yearning to be near her, I keep typing out these 3 am texts but never hitting send, I know that send button just leads to more misery and heartbreak, I will never get the reply I want. This girl has me hooked, reeled in from the sea and I’m not fighting the angler.. I should just fight, but she knows how to pull me closer and closer.. I’m a mess. I just don’t know what to do from here.