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Confused and unhappy

I'm 20 my boyfriend is 23 and we've been dating for 8 years now since he is my first and only real boyfriend and we do love each other or so I hope we do.


For the last 5 years our relationship was on distance and at that time everything was good, until he came to stay in the same town as me until now.

At first it was pretty good, until lately he became less passionate and avoids intimate moments, hey I'm telling you I'm not even allowed to hug him! Anything that i initiate is shot down, he says we are old enough and that we should be out of that phase by now, and unless he initiate something and that is rare. He tells me he only enjoys it just when we are talking and stuff but, no hands, I on the other hand i do enjoy it at time but, it really is not enough, is girls we like attention. And it is killing me, the fact that he has a kid with someone else while we are still dating doesn't help, he tells me that, he only love me and that the other girl is only a mother to his kid, however at times i cant help but think mybe he do have feelings for her or even someone else.

But regardless all that, I still love him, even at the time he told me he had cheated I was still there.

Now I have this nagging thoughts, that maybe we are still young and we may need time apart to explore with some other people. Or just a break from each other. SPACE.

Then again I know I can't do space and i know if we do it then I've lost him forever because he told me once when Ive mentioned it.


I just don't know what to do. He have been there for soo long, I've grown so attached. sometimes i just go with the flow and do what he wants yet at the end of the day I think about it and just analyse it on how it is soo wrong on soo many levels because im trying to make him happy while he izt considering anything on how i may feel.. but most of all eventhought im going through all this in which I'm not happy about, i still really really do love him and i dont wanna lose him in the process

I don't even know if this is healthy or not dear anonymous.