im so confused at life rn. it’s like i don’t want to live but yet i don’t want to die either. i feel so tired of living everyday but i feel like it’s such a waste to just die. i have no motivation at all. nothing about life excites me anymore. it’s always the same. everyone always asks for more. they’re never proud, and ur so called “friends” get jealous of u when ur doing better than them. ffs sometimes i get that sudden urge to just disappear and start a new life. i cant even tell my friends or family how i feel. my friends always say stuff along the lines of “omg me too haha twins” and my parents say “go study then, you’re just too bored”. school isn’t helping either especially when theirs covid. my grades improved from the last 9 weeks so i told my parents thinking they would be proud of my improvements. but instead they compared me to others then told me to study even more not a single compliment. why is it i have to listen to everyone else’s complaints but they can’t even listen to me once. it feels so unfair. i never get the same energy back from my friends. i’m over it.