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Confusion

im questioning myself, is the constant tiredness and unwillingness to do things , depression? i think im being lazy but my friends are saying this is a sign that im not doing good, if i had to say whether i am happy with myself i would say i am not, i dont have a reason as to why i feel this way. i thought its the norm to be really sad at night or have feelings of not really wanting to exist. By exist i dont necessarily mean death like i wish i could just not exist for a day because weirdly enough i feel this heaviness on my shoulders for no reason at all. I dont want to sound like im self diagnosing myself so im avoiding calling this depression because i think its not and im just a stupid teen who us ungrateful and lazy. ive dealt with extreme sadness in my younger years but i feel its selfish to call it depression. i question my every emotion like i need to feel some sort of sadness , maybe this is self emotional infliction for god knows what but ive always felt like i dont deserve to be happy.