6 months ago
Time Spent- 49m
28 Visitors

consent issue

So I hooked up with this guy I already knew since a long time. First time it was with no penetration as it was pretty spontaneos and we didn't have condoms. He kind of insisted on going all the way, I kept explaining why it's very important to me that we don't. I told him I'm bothered by this and the next day he really apologized and realized he acted like a jerk, thanked me for explaining him so detailed, etc.

Our next date, we had a drink in the park and than went to his place. When we layed down I suddenly felt very drunk and a bit sick. I told him I'm sorry, but I'm not in a state of doing anything, even if I would've wanted, I really needed to just lay there. At first he brought me water and was caring of me. But then we somehow ended up having sex, no condom. It's blurry to me, I feel like I was half asleep, half awake. I remember at some point I sort of enjoyed it, another moment I realized what was happening and told him to stop.

I sort of feel raped. I'm a bit afraid.





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6 months ago

Re: consent issue

The first thing you should do is visit the doctor or a planned parenthood to test for any STDs/pregnancy. From what you wrote, it definitely does sound like rape. He took advantage of you in a state where you were too drunk to consent. Even if you enjoyed it, you did not consent to it, and it seemed like you told him earlier that you didn't feel like it. I've had this happen a few times as well, and the most important thing to remember is that it is not your fault even though you are the one chose to drink. My suggestion would be to just stop talking to/replying to the guy all together. He doesn't seem like a trustworthy friend, and even though you have known him for a long time, does not mean you are required to stay with someone who ignores your consent.