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Considering suicide after a history test

What's even the fucking point.


I'm suffering rn and i hv no friends so the only ppl who it will hurt is my family, and they already know how to deal with shit so its ok. This year has messed with my mental state but idrfc anymore. I think about it every day. I know I never actually will because I have a severe lack of willpower. (oh wait, thats why i failed this shit in the first place). School is my excuse as to why i dont socialize. i dont even have good grades to back me up after today. i hv a great family but life gets old fast. i dont care about the future. i have worked so hard but at this point it doesnt matter to me. ill probably end up working a 9-5 or be some middle-class wife the rest of my life anyway. im in highschool. dont respond with all that life has to offer. im just getting this off my chest not acc doing anything. i would never tell my family the things that are in my head. I would be in therapy forever which is disgusting. i never want to be the weak depressed girl who goes to therapy every week and has to take her daily dopamine so she doesnt cut herself. anyway thats that.