constant friendship & confidence issues

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Its so annoying how i think ive finally made a best friend after all these feelings of not being good enough and then they leave me again for the stupid perfect popular girls who bullied me, they didnt want me and no one seems to either. i try my hardest to be kind, i have everything i could to her, made my focus her yet i didn’t mean the same to her i though i did. i hate myself i’m becoming sadder my thoughts are becoming darker. it’s hard because i don’t want to talk to anyone. i feel like i have no one, my mind right now is really hard to explain. i am struggling with my confidence and it’s getting worse.