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Covid needs to end so I can.

I was planning on killing myself this week, but my family needs food and money. I am the only person working in a house with 8 adult. I want Covid to be over, so I can kill myself. I have been waiting since March. I keep having to put it off. This week i had it with the waiting, but then we got put on lockdown again. I just want to hang myself in the woods. Leave my work cloths at work, I have my letters ready to go and rope in my car. Just want to end this.