A few weeks ago, I met my best friend's ex. She usually tells me everything but she didn't tell me about him, I never even knew who he was.
He's mentally not ok, his parents are abusive and he has tried to commit suicide quite a few times. He had a serious problem with some pretty heavy duty drugs, he dated a few toxic people, he self harms and he has depression. When he dated my best friend it really healed him, he took a few steps towards recovery and became more stable.
The problem was, it was terrible for my best friend. He was so draining, she had to stop him from killing himself so many times, he expected her to fix everything for him but wouldn't try and help himself at all, just thought he would miraculously get better without having to do anything himself. She was so stressed and it really took a toll on her mental health. She broke up with him a few months ago, but still tries to be there for him.
I absolutely hate myself for this, but when I met him for some reason I kinda liked him. He's more than his mental health issues, and can be a genuinely caring and funny person when he's feeling more on the upside. We share a lot of the same interests and personality traits, so I connect with him pretty well. My dad is a mental health nurse, so I understand him better than most people and I can use my skills I've learnt from my dad's parenting to help him get through his tougher moments, which is another reason we connect well. He's actually very interesting, has some great stories to tell, and all round a good person, behind all of his problems.
But he's my best friend's ex. She doesn't like him anymore, but he's still in love with her. I know I shouldn't feel this way about him, it's so stupid and I should just leave it alone and avoid him to get rid of my feelings for him. Sometimes it feels like he's flirting with me, but I think he's attracted by the parts of my personality that remind him of my best friend, and I don't want to be a replacement for her.
There's also the problem of me and my best friend's relationship, I don't want to ruin it by having feelings for her fucked up, emotionally manipulative ex. I really hate the fact that I feel this way.
Does anyone else have any experiences like this? What should I do? I really don't know, sorry this is so long, I'm not very good at summarising.