The last time I went to a strip club. By "Fuck you, I'm anonymous". Esquire. The third.I was out riding my motorcycle around the new area I lived in. Moved from stateS away. Getting a lay of the land, it's hot, I moved southwards. All I could think of is how good a beer would taste right about now. So I start looking for places to get a beer. Sadly, this is southwards and that means stupid fuckin' dry-county-land, USA. Not many places in the shithole hicktown open on Sundays serving beer.I found a place open. It was the local strip club. Where girls with unlimited potential become meth addicts. Again, in the south. They're probably all cousins, too. Just stick with me for a minute, the story gets less offensive. And I'm lying about that, spoiler alert.Anyway, so this is not a good strip club. If there is such a thing. This is the kind of place where 40 bucks probably gets you a handjob by some lady with needle tracks. Not that I would know. I'm getting to that.So I walk in, ignore the guy asking for a cover charge and go straight to the bar to order a beer. I go sit down in a quiet spot way far back away from the stage and finally take a drink of that sweet cold beer I'd been dying for.Up comes this young lady, much much too young for me, of course. And we weren't even cousins, so not like I'd have a chance. She sits down next to me and says by way of saying hello, "Hey, I'm not hitting on you or trying to get you to buy a dance or anything. I'm on break and you look cool to talk to."So we chatted. It was actually a really nice conversation. There was no flirting involved, she was a rather nice young gentlelady. I mean... she was wearing a stripper outfit, so... but anyway, it was a nice conversation.It got interrupted then... by SUPER DRUNKEN UBER STRIPPER! Drunky McStripsalot legit wordlessly grabbed the back of nice stripper's chair and PULLED her chair and her away from me, then pulled a chair in-between us, and sat down next to me and slurred drunkenly/methheadedly, "Hey. Want to buy me a drink?"Nice stripper got up and walked off in disgust. I responded, "I think you've had plenty to drink."I proceeded to drain my beer a bit quicker and drunk stripper says, "Hey, are you in the military?" I'm good-sized dude, have a lot of tats and maintain military haircuts and physique, even though I'd been out for a long time by then. I said, "Yes, I was in the Marines."VERY drunk stripper says, get this... "Oh. That's why I'm so attracted to you. My dad was a Marine.".........I just set my beer down and stood up, threw my hands up in the air and said, "Nope. Nope. I don't believe it. Impossible. A stripper with daddy issues? Fuck this, I'm out of here."And I walked out, rode off and never went back.Not your typical cowboy rides off into the sunset story. But hey, at least I got most of that beer down.